PS Writings

If you only knew

You walked into my life

While it was falling apart –

Crushed, broken, abandoned.

And somehow,

you held my shattered pieces

in the warmth of your hands,

Made me feel special,

Saw beauty in the wreckage.

Every day, every moment,

shined with you –

Like the first morning light

shines through a dark, dense forest,

Like the warmth of burning woods

in the middle of a cold, gloomy night.

With gentle whispers and healing hands,

Softly stitching my wounds,

You made me breathe again.

If you only knew

In your quiet care,

I began to believe that

I could also be worthy of love

And safety could exist

in someone else’s arms.

A home I never knew I could have,

A promise I never knew I could make,

But also, a future I feared would never be

mine.

Seasons passed, and it came time to say

goodbye,

A new milestone, a fresh start.

And the weight of my own insecurities.

Though you tried to fix my mess,

I realized, slowly,

That love isn’t always enough.

That we were two worlds apart,

Forever drifting,

That we may never find our way

together.

If you only knew,

It wasn’t easy for me to say goodbye, to

break your heart,

To push you away by cruel ways,

Not because I didn’t love you,

But because I feared I couldn’t hold your

love,

One day you’d see the cracks I carry,

The mess, the chaos, the tangled dramas

of my life,

The void inside me, the fault in my stars.

So I did it first – To save you from the

ruin I believed I was.

I hurt you, I made you cry,

Not because my love had faded,

But because I couldn’t bear to

watch you slip away from my life,

Because deep down, I knew –

I could never be the person you needed,

I could never be the home you sought,

I could never be the promise you wanted.

If you only knew,

How deeply I wanted you to stay,

I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved

you,

And I will always love you,

Forever, in ways

Words could never reach.

If you only knew, then, maybe,

you wouldn’t have left,

Maybe, you wouldn’t have left,

Another void in my life.

And I hope one day,

when our paths cross again,

As time finally grants us the closure,

All the silence will dissolve between us,

We’ll revisit the unspoken,

And mend the wounds left untouched,

One last hug, one last kiss,

one last goodbye,

One final ‘I love you’ I couldn’t say,

One last promise I couldn’t make,

For this lifetime, and for all the lifetimes

we never shared.